The Flies That Came To Dinner
by Zarius
Summary: (Fred Wolf Cartoon): Irma and Donatello have to keep a cool head as they endure a chilling evening spent in the company of Professor Kim Sagan and some very uncommon house flies...
1. Chapter 1

**TEENAGE MUTANT NINJA TURTLES:**

**THE FLIES THAT CAME TO DINNER**

**WRITTEN BY ZARIUS**

**Note: This takes place after "Turtles Forever" and is book six of a ten-book series. The other books in the series include: "So Long, No Thanks For All The Fish", "My Seer, My Secretary", "Raphael Counts 'Em All", "The Lotus and The Sun" and "Mutants and Miracles".**

**The events of the fifth book, "Mutants and Miracles", are VITAL to understanding some of the developments that occur in this and future books in the series, so be sure to read it before continuing. Thank you.**

**-Zarius**

**Disclaimer: Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles are trademarked by Nickelodeon. Characters from the 1987 TMNT animated series are trademarked by Fred Wolf. All original characters are mine.**

* * *

**CHAPTER ONE**

Donatello took one look in the mirror, examined the grey suit and black tie he was dressed in, and thought "_too shady_" to himself.

He went through the wardrobe and found another suit. He tried it on and took again to the mirror.

This one was heavily laced with checkers.

_"I'm not selling a car am I?"_ he thought, and hastily removed it.

The third option was a more reliable choice. Black all over with a red tie.

"Like going to a funeral" Donatello said aloud, and permitted himself a tiny chuckle, knowing that wasn't far from the truth.

It was going to be a busy day. A day of reflection on past sins, a day where people would remember names and faces, a time and a place. A day where the past would be reflected on and over time mercilessly picked apart before it all culminated in a decision that would decide a great deal of futures.

A very formal and detail ridden wake. All yet to come.

But first came the hounding.

He peered out of the window of Irma Langenstien's apartment, gazing out at the teeming mass of reporters and photographers stationed outside. All of them eagerly awaiting his exit.

Donatello felt something brush against his legs, he looked down to see Irma's beloved dog standing on it's back legs, lifting it's paws up with a look of strong affection. Donatello knelt down and patted it on the head

"Yeah boy, on any normal day, this _would_ be a good time for a walk. Too bad there IS such a thing as freedom of the press" Donatello said, the dog affectionately licking his fingers.

The door to the main bedroom opened and out emerged Irma, the girl Donatello had been miraculously calling his girlfriend for a long time.

Unlike Donatello, she hadn't been indecisive about her appearance and was dressed for the occasion, sharply attired in a strict white collar shirt, black tie, and purple waistcoat. Her glasses were in her right hand, and her lips were rich with ruby lipstick.

She approached Donatello and kissed him rosily on the cheek.

"And how are we feeling this morning?" Irma asked

"I feel more like I'm IN Mourning" Donatello said, continuing to look out at the packed crowd of paparazzi.

"Pay them no mind, they're not so tough out there once you start chipping away at the little things about them" Irma remarked

"What little things?" Donatello asked

"Oh you know, their lack of a good aftershave, pointing out their teeth remain unwashed, the general sense of guilt they have over driving everyone they meet to fatigue and ruin...once you throw it in their face with a good lecture, their already vain reflections in the mirror crack and fall apart"

Irma sat down to put her high heels on and collect her purse, which was perched on the table opposite her.

Her loyal dog walked over to her and jumped up on the couch next to her. Irma took another gander at Donatello's outfit.

"You're not wearing that to the kind of circus we're going to" she said

"Do you have any brighter suggestions" Donatello said as he examined the crude blackness of his suit.

"Just the thing" Irma replied, and, after putting on her shoes, got up and looked through the wardrobe.

As he watched her, Donatello thought long and hard to himself, trying to fathom how he had gotten this far with her.

This was the woman who, several years ago, ran away from the notion of marrying three of his love-sick brothers.

This was the woman who had crushed on Master Splinter and had ran away in sheer horror when she saw him for the first time and realized he was a rat.

Yet this was also the same woman who had crushed on a robot of all things, Rex-1, and had openly blushed at Donatello when she mistook his compliments towards a satellite dish for some affectionate nod to her looks.

In retrospect, Donatello wasn't exactly sure himself if he meant the dish or not. After all, he'd been privately sorting out his feelings for her around the same time.

He didn't quite know when it had begun. He initially reckoned it was after Tony Vivaldi's men brought a whole building crashing down on him and she was the one to care for him when he reached out for help at her place of work at the time, a kind move which gave him back the strength he needed to act against Vivaldi and rescue his brothers.

Irma's odd behaviour and Donatello's general weariness of humanity triggered a rollercoaster wave of emotions and thoughts in his mind...he detested the way humans looked down on mutants even after all they'd done for them, and equally despaired when they let the Turtles know how much they appreciated their help.

They were so hard to pin down, so untrustworthy, so flawed.

He'd been tempted several times to put the human race behind him, knowing he'd been on this kind of rollercoaster all his life, but something always told him to have some measure of faith as that ride got bumpy.

Maybe it was because Master Splinter, the sensei that had taught him right from wrong and to put his mind to whatever he thought mattered, had been human once upon a time, and had shown great courage at the prospect of teaching four highly combustible elements how to function in the world, perfecting them in the art of skill and compassion.

Those traits conspired to anchor Donatello to the world he would very often tire of.

Sometimes he regretted it, as was the case today.

And then he would look at Irma, and all that weariness would wash away.

He didn't have to consider much else regarding the issue anymore.

He was there, they were here, because they loved each other.

Irma finished her search and emerged with a bright emerald green suit and matching tie with a white shirt and brown trousers, she tossed it to Donatello

"There, put it on" she said, "It's better to feel like you're in your element"

"Proud colours Irma" Donatello remarked, and promptly changed. He found the trousers a tight fit, and struggled a little in getting them on. He ended up tripping and falling down, which amused Irma greatly.

Finally, he was able to pull the trousers up and stood upright.

"There, how do I look?" he said.

"Like you're all over the place?" Irma remarked.

Donatello sighed, and slouched slightly. Irma, sensing his uncertainty, walked over to him and straightened him up.

"Look sharp solider" she said, "The day needs a bit of green fingers"

Donatello smiled, "I'll try to sculpt something out of the hedges that'll be bearing down on us"

Irma put her finger under Donatello's chin and leaned closer to his face, "I can always count on you cutting in" she replied

And then, in a moment of pure magic, the two exchanged a tender kiss that calmed every shot nerve in Donatello's body.

He was ready.

Irma disengaged from the kiss and walked over to the door, she hugged her dog tight and let it run out in front.

"First, let's cut our way through the weeds outside" Irma said, looking at the media wolf pack outside.

"Mustn't forget my pound of flesh" Donatello said, grabbing his goofy rubber human looking mask and putting it on to conceal his features.

No matter how important the story was today, the very notion of a public human and Turtle romance would only serve to over-sensationalise something already brimming with controversy.

After dropping the dog off at a neighbour nearby, the couple went down the stairs of the apartment complex, approached the lobby, clutched each other's hands tight, and exited the building, try to dash as quickly as possible to the car that was standing by to take them to their destination.

The pack struck hard with flashing cameras in their hands and frequent questions emitting from their lips

"Ms. Langenstien, or is it Ms. 'Tello? What can you share with us on your meeting today?" asked one, who Irma quickly dismissed.

"Can you explain just what the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles were doing at the party that evening?" asked another

"Why does your boyfriend have green hands?" asked a third.

"He's very sick" Irma said. followed by a sharp utterance of "...Of you"

Donatello moved in front of Irma, trying to shield her from the photographers. The driver of their car opened the door for them and they clambered in.

Soon the car was shooting down the main road. Some of the press tried following on foot, some took to their motorcycles. Donatello and Irma glanced at one another and breathed a sigh of relief as they were able to catch their breath from such a trying ordeal.

"That was nightmarish" Donatello said, "And you wonder why I only give some people my time of day"

Irma reached into her purse and pulled out a pair of gloves, "Put these on so they don't spot any trace of green beyond your waistcoat"

Donatello complied and put them on, "Sorry Irma, I didn't think about this"

"It's ok Donny, no one else is thinking, otherwise they'd be in their right minds about all this"

"I better call the guys, let them know we're on our way" Donatello said, and collected his turtle-com from the purse, he activated it and Michelangelo's friendly face greeted him

"Hey there bro, we're all gathered around the tube ready to watch the inquiry go live. You sure Irma is ready for something this monumental?" Michelangelo asked

"It's my fault she's in this much hot water, I just hope cooler heads prevail in there" Donatello remarked

Following a few slight detours to avoid any busy afternoon traffic as well as the persistence of the paparazzi, the car arrived at a large business complex, the Howard Oswald Tower, a think tank for shrewd businessmen and home to a very public inquiry.

Channel Six news reporters were on hand to greet Irma and Donatello as they emerged from the vehicle and attempted to head inside.

Leading the pack was Vernon.

"Well well Irma, it's nice to see you making a big splash in the papers" he said mockingly, "It's such a pity that your consistent habit of mucking things up is what gets you this sort of press, but then, what else would earn you a reputation?"

Irma's hand trembled as she clenched it into a fist.

"Why you condescending one-note, spineless little..." Irma began, only to be escorted away by Donatello and a flock of security guards.

"So much for journalistic impartiality" Donatello said.

"Oh I'm so glad I parted ways with that network...and thanks for parting me from him before I could arrange the same between his nose and his face" Irma replied

The two entered a vast room that was quickly locked behind them.

In front of them were a row of seats with people circling them from left to right, cameras zoomed in on the pair as they made their way to their own seats.

In the middle of the room were three officious looking people, two men, one woman. All were wearing glasses..

The two sat down, Donatello waved at the tribunal of three. They didn't wave back

"Not very accommodating on a social front" Donatello whispered

"Are we sitting comfortably?" said one of the three, pushing his papers together and staring menacingly at Irma and Donatello

"Ready when you are Mr. Speaker" Irma said.

"Before we begin Ms 'Tello...Langenstien, whichever alias you're using this day of the week, I hope you understand the futility of trying our patience. We have been told by reasonable sources that you have a tendency to be self-deprecating or break out into anecdotes about how badly your days have been, pointing out the smallest possible nitpicks and elongating them beyond the point of anyone's patience, this inquiry intends to get to the point very quickly, do not waste our time"

"I won't" Irma replied. Donatello approved, proud of Irma's bravery.

"It is my understanding that your boyfriend was also present during the evening in question...but that he had disappeared just as events spiralled out of control" the man continued

"I feel he is a credible enough witness, he had interactions with Professor Sagan" Irma replied.

"And you think a few rounds of casual social lingo can explain in great detail how an eccentric, yet well respected figure in the scientific community went out of his way to unleash unprecedented havoc on a vast group of innocent people assembled at that event?"

"You'd be surprised at what I can pick up after someone takes too much spiked punch" Donatello began

"Speak when you are spoken to" the man replied.

Donatello suddenly felt a lot smaller.

And as the tribunal's lead speaker continued his opening argument, grilling Irma over what role she had played in a tense situation that had unfolded those many months ago and how it had led to the fall of an overambitious scientist and a frightening ordeal for so many assembled at what appeared to be a harmless event, one thought crossed Donatello's mind.

How DID they get here?

Ask a silly question

He knew exactly how they got here.


	2. Chapter 2

**CHAPTER TWO**

**TWO MONTHS AGO**

The alarm clock buzzed loudly, awakening April O'Neil from her slumber.

She pulled her hands out of the bed sheets, her eyes half closed, and blindly scouted for the clock. When she finally got a hold of it, she raised high above her head and dropped it to the ground with an almighty thud.

She rose out of the bed and rubbed her eyes gently, taking in the rancid smell of body odour and rank sewage. She opened her eyes to find herself graced with a heap of unsorted beds and half-eaten bowls of cereal.

Nearby, the loud hum of music and loud howls of laughter from a canned TV audience emitting from the television signalled all she needed to know.

There was doubt about it.

The Turtles were up.

And the unenviable responsibility of clearing up the cesspool that was their sleeping quarters had fallen to her.

She could march down the corridor, enter the living area, switch off the television, and berate the guys for not clearing up after themselves, but she figured, in her head, that getting the beds cleaned and the mess cleared was just as active an exercise for her as an active morning period of training was for them.

And after all the training she had done at the crack of dawn yesterday, she found it a much more manageable way to while away the minutes.

A moment to fold up and redress the sheets, followed by a dash of sweeping with a nearby broom, and the sleeping quarters looked good as new.

Examining herself and despairing slightly at another sight, April slipped a pair of pink fuzzy slippers and picked up a bowl of cereal, and, after emptying its contents in the bin, she headed to the kitchen to pour herself a fresh packet.

She did so, refusing to take milk as she didn't trust the Turtles to have picked up a fresh container, and munched down as she walked into the living area, where a source of great joy to her was lazily sprawled on the sofa, his right hand dangling off of it, his left hand holding the remote control, and his head staring up at the lights. He began adjusting the volume on the television, not happy with the pitch.

April beamed affectionately as her best friend of seventeen years, and boyfriend of six months, Michelangelo, continued to be predictably and unapologetically indecisive.

"Morning" she said as she approached him, bending over to kiss him on the top of his head. Michelangelo gently dropped the remote and stroked April's hair gently, "How'd I do last night dudedette?" he asked.

"Well the good news is you didn't snore , first time in three months where that didn't occur" she said, "So top marks for that...BUT."

"But what?" Michelangelo said

April reached down to something that was sticking to her yellow Night shirt, a number 6 plastered over the front, and peeled off a greasy mound of cheese and chilli Pizza from it, dropping it into Michelangelo's lap.

"You didn't go to bed on an empty stomach" she said.

"It all relates to a dream I had, trust me" Michelangelo said.

"_Really_ now?" April said, her arms folded.

"Absolutely, I dreamt I was looking through the fridge, and only found one slice of the cheese and chilli special left, I realized I needed to give it shelter from the long cold nights it was enduring, so I brought it to the warmest recesses I could hope to venture to, and it enjoyed it's last few moments of existence in my capable hands"

"Sounds so literal, a real dream come true" April replied sarcastically.

"Well you should know all about that babe, you've been a reality for this long" Michelangelo said, raising his head up from the edge of the sofa and kissing his girl tenderly on the lips.

After a few moments, the two stopped, and Michelangelo moved up to allow April room to sit down

"So you want to do some warm-up fist fight routines after you're done with breakfast?" Michelangelo asked.

"No time Mike, this is my working week remember?" April said, "I've got to be down at Channel Six in under an hour, we're covering a major scientific development supervised by Professor Kim Sagan of the **A**ugmented **P**article **E**nergies division. He's conducting some kind of experiment today"

"Dudette, I don't cruise down the science lane., you want to get into detail on stuff like that, you ought to date Donatello" Michelangelo replied. April nudged him with an elbow

"Jerk" she said, "I'll let Donatello know you gave us your blessing when I see him"

"Hey, I wasn't serious" Michelangelo said, slightly panicking.

April giggled.

"Relax honey, Donnie's going to be on hand for the experiment, he's bringing Irma along with him"

"That's alright then, wouldn't want to think a turtle known for innovation was replacing a turtle known for sheer _sensation_ in your daily routine" Michelangelo said

"The day Donatello ever dates me is the day you guys delight thousands on Nickelodeon" April remarked. as she put down the bowl.

After another passionate embrace, she swiftly got up and did a couple of morning stretches, before kicking off her slippers and wrapping both arms around her nightshirt, gently pulling it over her head. She tossed the greasy shirt over Michelangelo and walked over to a clothes hamper, pulling out a pair of jeans, a t-shirt, and her brown jacket.

Normally she'd wear her trademark channel six jumpsuit, but it was currently indisposed, as Michelangelo breaking the washing machine led him to have the astounding brainstorm of dunking the suit in the Hudson river.

_Not_ what one might call a thorough scrub.

As April walked back through the tunnel to get changed, Michelangelo tossed her discarded shirt away, got off the sofa and opted to go into the kitchen to get a snack. In doing so, he walked by Leonardo, who was eating a lettuce-ridden sandwich.

"Hey bro, how's the Sensei?" Michelangelo asked

"He's still meditating, it's taking him longer than normal to stir from it, something is distressing him greatly...but he'd want us to start training as usual, we start in five minutes " Leonardo said.

Michelangelo grumbled, knowing he would have to practise without April.

Leonardo made his way to the tunnel up ahead where April was getting changed, and leaned on the wall, continuing to bite into the sandwich.

"Just so you know, Raphael is driving Donatello to the science facility right now, they're just collecting Irma first" Leonardo said.

"Now that's what I call prioritising" April said, "You could easily apply some of that to keep your bedroom from going to the dogs" April's critical voice echoed from the tunnel.

"Sorry April, we don't usually think about the little things when we wake up unless Master Splinter brings it up" Leonardo replied, "We're always so worried about what we're waking up to we just rush into the day"

"I suppose that's a reasonable excuse, keeping up the daily heroics is more important than keeping up appearances

"Speaking of 'keeping things up'...congrats on passing six months with Michelangelo" Leonardo added, "Normally, his interests usually last about five to twenty minutes, this has really brought out the best in both of you"

"Thanks Leonardo" April replied, "I hope you don't mind me crashing here every now and then because of it, I know Mike and I are supposed to be taking it slow, but for me, it's been slow enough, what it taking a decade to 'fess up to him. As long as we get the co-habiting down to an exact science, we should be primed for the next step whenever that comes in a year or two from now"

"I do wonder why it took this long...I thought you were strictly for regular flesh and bone, and that you normally left the extraordinary flirts to Irma" Leonardo pondered

"There was a time where I thought that was what I wanted, that I told myself 'it just wouldn't work out, we're from different worlds', but you know how it goes Leo, sometimes what you want in your head isn't what you feel in your heart. Besides, there's only so many times someone can call you so many cute pet names as Mike did before it begins to rub off. I don't know when my infatuation with him started, maybe it was that time he kept changing between his real form and that of a human. Maybe it was there since the beginning when I read him and the rest of you bedtime stories. All I know was I was in denial for a while after I realized I felt for him in "that way""

"How did you cope?" Leonardo asked, "It must have been hard to keep it bottled up for so long"

"I did a lot of weird things" April replied, emerging from the tunnel fully dressed, gently combing her hair with a partially dirty brush that was lying around and using her free hand to apply lipstick to her lips, "I remember how bad it got when Channel Six was destroyed and you guys got blamed for it. All of a sudden hating Turtles was the "in thing" for the general public again, it was a horrible time to deal with the feelings I had. I imagined headlines like "tough cookie reporter crumbles over freak of nature" in my head and despaired over how it would affect my career, and then my family, my aunt, I began to get bitter, I even started resenting my friendship with you guys, I resented how I felt about Mike. I was ashamed, and angry, at you, at him, at the world, at everyone. Eventually, when the opportunity arose to try and take my frustrations with you guys out in a public way, I readily took it"

"Is that why you turned on us during that whole business with Megavolt? When you even took to aiding the military in hunting us down?" Leonardo asked, "That always felt very out of character to me"

"I regretted it almost as soon as I started accusing you of committing the crimes" April explained, "It didn't take me long to get to the bottom of things and work out you were being framed...I vowed to myself I wouldn't let myself fall victim to that kind of doubt about you again, but I didn't know what else to do at the time...eventually I thought distancing myself from you would be the best solution, but one thing or another always dropped me back into your lap. Whenever it didn't, I felt miserable and unaccomplished where it counted. I was lonely. I needed you guys. More importantly, I needed Mike to know how I felt one day, and I knew the time would come where I could say what was on my mind, and that I trusted him not to freak out about it, all I had to do was wait"

"And in doing so, you mellowed" Leonardo replied. April nodded.

"I knew what I felt, I couldn't shake it, to change was impossible, I had spent so many years being saved, complimented, and entertained by Mike that there was no way I could dismiss my feelings as just that of friendship. He wasn't just a friend, he was my best friend, and he was everything I had longed looked for in someone of my own kind and could never seem to pin down"

"I think you made a brave choice April. We were all worried about you way back then, we've all went through a world of weirdness, where the sky felt just a little red and our hearts were slightly greyer, but by holding onto our convictions, by providing every end of the tunnel with light, we were able to shine again"

A touched April delicately kissed Leonardo on the cheek, "And I hope you keep shining, because all of you are more precious and priceless than diamonds, not just to me, but to the world"

Michelangelo walked back into the living area, brandishing his nun-chucks.

"Come on fearless leader, I need to check these 'chucks" he said

April put her shoes on and grabbed her bag off the floor.

"Honey, tell Donatello I'll be about forty minutes late, it's been days since I was at my apartment, I need to check on it, plus I need to shower down, you may be used to freezing water, but I handle it hot" April said to Michelangelo, who gave her a thumbs up. The two exchanged a parting kiss and April ran out of the lair.

Leonardo turned around, Michelangelo noticed some lipstick on his cheek.

"And where have you been spending your mornings?" he said.

"Nothing to worry about Michelangelo, April was just polishing a diamond" Leonardo replied.


	3. Chapter 3

**CHAPTER THREE**

**ONE HOUR LATER**

Donatello never understood the hold bathrooms had on women.

Bathrooms in vast buildings demanded two simple requirements from those using them, three if the people who used them bothered washing their hands, but women always take the extra time to perfect everything about the trip.

He wasn't privy to whatever they were up to for obvious reasons pertaining to gender, but he was of a logical mind and deduced it was probably the exact same things that held her up at the apartment earlier.

Always about looking her best and to stand out.

Even amongst a room teeming with the most unattractive people.

Donatello felt more sorry for Raphael, who was sitting outside in the Turtle van, having driven them to the A.P.E facility , and now had to wait patiently for them to exit.

A simple requirement complicated by the length of time the experiment Donatello and Irma were on hand to witness would take. From preparation, to explanation, to demonstration, to the post-session question and answer period from the scientists in attendance as well as the press.

Everyone was in for a long afternoon.

Raphael had brought a graphic novel along to help pass the hours by. Thinking Raphael would read it in record time though.

Donatello had suggested Raphael read his long essay on the long-term consequences of molecular psycho-physical revision, which was the subject of today's experiments, but Raphael had suggested he would only try processing that essay if he felt it was a guaranteed means of ensuring an afternoon nap.

Finally, the door to the bathroom opened and Irma stepped out, she took her glasses off and breathed gently onto the lenses and rubbed them with her hands before snapping them back on.

"Ok, be honest, are you sure I look like I could be remotely interested in this whiz-bang demo?" Irma asked, "You don't think anyone can read the boredom lines on my face?"

"Look Irma, nobody is here to out-interest the other, it's not a competition, everyone in that room is supposed to be an equal and we're giving Professor Sagan the respect and the time to put across his discoveries in a manner that enhances our curiosity"

"I thought you spent a whole evening writing down something that said Kim's work was dangerous and ridiculously unproductive" Irma said, in reference to the essay Donatello had left in the van

"I admit,, I was all set to have you read that out at the demonstration, but a cooler head prevailed" Donatello replied, "My concerns are all based in theory, I need to see how it works out in reality"

"What if I get asked for a question though?" Irma asked, "I don't exactly know psycho-physics from psycho people"

Donatello handed her a small compact and put one hand on her shoulder to reassure his girlfriend.

"Use this, it's got a built-in audio system so I'll be able to overhear everything, just pretend you're powdering your nose while answering the question and I'll text you what to say and you can read it out from the compact's "mirror", which is really a small video screen"

"I've heard about face book, but this is really glamorizing it" Irma said.

"You'll do fine" Donatello said, giving Irma a peck on the cheek, "Now hurry along and join the group, they're stationed at floor three, room five"

Irma nodded and headed to the elevator, blowing a kiss to Donatello as she entered it. Donatello waved as the doors to the elevator closed.

Once Irma was gone, Donatello sighed.

He just knew this wouldn't go smoothly no matter how well laid out this was.

Part of him wanted to curse the very day he got his degree credited to a "Donna 'Tello", and how ever since then, all the major invites to the biggest science expos and showcases had required him to drag Irma to each and every one of them, all while he did his best to sneak in or mingle in his role as her date.

He had thought it would be easier now that they were actively dating, but there was always a little niggle here and there that kept them on their toes.

This was one of those instances where regular civilians were not allowed, and security was tighter than previous locations.

Whether he liked it or not, Donatello would have to wait this one out.

Worried Irma would soon be up to her neck in techno babble from people far above her station in intelligence, Donatello pulled out a small cell phone, he had in his pocket, white in colour, and pressed a few buttons. A small holographic video image of Irma's emitted from it.

"Ah good, the live stream is working" Donatello said.

His link to Irma established, Donatello watched on, before long he was picking up a lot of commotion, indicating Irma had arrived and was graced with the presence of distinguished members of the scientific community.

Not one to keep to herself, Irma began doing what Donatello dreaded...she started to mingle, applying some of her observational skills to compliment and critique the appearances of the scientists, although she tried her best to do in the most polite manner possible so as not to offend them.

She was eventually asked a short, yet complicated question.

As instructed by Donatello, Irma pretended to power her nose while reading off the text Donatello was feeding her. She delivered the answer with impeccable accuracy, rarely stumbling on the complicated jargon Donatello was utilizing.

A part of him felt a little guilty for trying to make Irma say such big words, knowing it was a bit above her station, but the fact she was able to cope under such pressure made him incredibly proud of her. He loved testing the limits of people around him.

But of course, as soon as the scientist who asked the question began complimenting Irma on her remarkable and punchy means of conveying the answer, Irma got carried away and used it as an excuse to fire off on all the tiny little nuances of her daily routine, stuff that was far too basic for her audience to be dealing with. Before long, she lost the attention of the person conversing with her.

"Yeah Irma, that's right, talk about the complicated ins and outs of line-dancing, that'll win you a crowd" a sarcastic Donatello uttered out loud.

Soon, the doors to room five opened and a medium sized man appeared requesting the scientists come inside, Irma quickly followed them.

"Now comes the part where we all need to get patient" Donatello said, "And patience isn't normally that woman's m.o"

Outside A.P.E's doors, Raphael was facing an issue. He had gotten ahead of himself and skimmed through his graphic novel in only half an hour, leaving him with nothing except Donatello's essay.

"Ah what the heck, I don't just need a good night's sleep, I need last night's sleep" Raphael said, referring to the trouble he had accessing the land of nod several hours earlier.

He skimmed through the pages of the essay...but his eyes didn't get heavy, far from it, instead, they widened in awe as he read ahead.

"Man, if Donatello is right, this puts all those zany "_Flash Dog and the Schizoid Armada_" comic strips well and truly down" Raphael said, looking out at the building and fearing what could come out of the demonstration should things go awry.


	4. Chapter 4

**CHAPTER FOUR**

It was a thing of beauty.

A miraculous achievement.

It's reflexes were top-notch, it could feel pain when jabbed with a sharp pen, it could shed a tear, it could laugh.

Oh how it could laugh.

Professor Ray Cross of the A.P.E research facility had achieved his goal. He had completed work on his "M.I. ": **M**asterfully **I**mproving **M**an's **I**nner **C**hild.

A child-like robot that operated on the same mental frequency as a human of a young age, vulnerable to all the things that they were...curious about nature, eager to construct things out of building blocks, trying to utter simple words as if they were big and meaningful.

With top-notch reflexes and a captivating sense of wonder about it, the M.I.M.I.C could easily be the highlight of today's events.

It dismayed Cross that it wasn't, for that opportunity belonged to someone else in the room.

As he watched the M.I.M.I.C put the final big block on a stack it had been amassing, Cross turned his back to write down a few final notes.

Suddenly, he heard a crash, followed by a loud thud.

His stomach twisted and turned, an ill feeling swept over him, he turned back around to find M.I.M.I.C on the floor, lying completely still. Cross dropped his notes and ran over to the android, its eyes remained open, it's friendly smile still etched across its face.

Cross snapped his fingers, trying to provoke a reaction from the eyes, they refused to blink in reaction.

"What caused this?" Cross said, before noticing someone making final adjustments to a large triangular device.

In the person's right hand was a medium sized gun with a large rock-solid boxing glove attached to it.

Cross immediately recognized who it belonged to.

"That wasn't necessary Sagan" Cross said

"What IS necessary these days?" Kim Sagan asked his colleague, gently placing the boxing glove gun on the table and putting on a pair of earphones connected to a hi-fi system.

He walked over to the unconscious android and delicately allowed his fingers to dance across its complexion. Sagan's own face seemed to match it in expression, but only slightly...he couldn't hope to smile while he was still among the living and breathing.

"Everything is built to last only a little while, before it all turns to the dark" he continued, "Besides, you've created a such a cliché. Why must we remain fascinated with the wants of a child? We should be as growth has made us"

"While it is true age is vital to progression, we are not instructed to forget about the past, we owe something to history, and if we are to become fully-fledged creators, we must not forget we are teachers too" Cross argued, closing the eyes of the M.I.M.I.C and shaking his head in sadness.

"An education in the futility of life is all that's really required Cross" Sagan countered

"Your boredom will be what undoes your progress Sagan" Cross said, getting up and checking the security monitors.

"Have more faith in yourself man, especially now that you've got an audience to think about" Cross said as he spotted the group of scientists invited to witness the forthcoming experiment filing into the corridor that led to their lab.

Sagan stuck his tongue out at Cross and put on a pair of headphones connected to an MP3 player. Cross shook his head, weary of Sagan's selfishness, and dragged the M.I.M.I.C out of sight, putting it in its nearby storage unit and out of sight.

The floor was all Sagan's'.

The scientists, as well as Irma, soon poured into the lab.

Cross welcomed them.

"My dear friends, it is an honour to be in your company for this special presentation. Without further ado, I give you the pioneer of the psycho-physical reviser, or as he likes to call it, the "Psycho-splinter", Professor Kim Sagan"

"Oh, Psycho-Splinter, I'm hoping that doesn't mean I'm facing a kamikaze rodent" Irma said out loud. Everyone looked at her funny. She grinned nervously and resumed "powdering her nose". A text came across her compact's mirror reading "**mouth closed, ears open honey, xxx**"

Sagan put the finishing touches to the triangular device, and walked over to a nearby coat rack, he fiddled through the pockets for a few minutes, trying the patience of the whole room. Cross sweated, his nerves shot, and his own temper beginning to rise.

Sagan eventually took out a pair of headphones connected to a small MP3 player and put them on his ears, he then reached and produced a piece of bubble gum that he inserted in his mouth

"Gentleman" he said, putting on a cynically-charged upper class accent, "As you know, the purpose of our experiments is to determine which side of our psychological make-up we rely on the most...the intellectual side, perhaps the masculine side, do we let all our precious feelings contained within the sentimental or feminine side pave our way? Or do we indulge the curious and quaint child-like allure of our youth map out our adult years?"

"Good question" Irma remarked "...if it'd be answered already I probably would've settle for a regular old human by now"

Everyone turned and gave her an awkward look again, some were now insisting she be quiet.

"Oh sorry, thinking out loud again" Irma said.

She soon received another text.

"**Yes, the sound of your own voice, you sure you're more in love with ****that****?"**

"I knew you wouldn't like that" Irma whispered into the compact, slightly ashamed of herself, "I'll make it up to you tonight, a big toasted pizza, my treat"

Hoping for no further interruption, Sagan continued to pitch his project, still clinging on to his phony condescending accent.

"All of these are vital components of our psychological make-up, how can we possibly determine which one is the superior aspect? Today we will answer that. The Psycho-Splinter is designed to split open these aspects through cellular replication and a touch of cerebral division, allowing us to showcase them in fully-fledged physical forms"

"Question" Irma said, raising her hand.

Sagan glared at her, and dropped his phony accent to be quite direct with her.

"Q and A isn't until after the demonstration Ms..."

"Er, 'Tello, Donna 'Tello" Irma replied, "Sorry, this really isn't my field, but I heard this one over the radio...are you saying you're going to take one regular person and divide him or her into some erratic ensemble? I know farms breed a lot of animals, but not even the funny farm has any live stock for your sort"

The assembled group laughed in unison at Irma's comments, angering Sagan all the more. Irma soon received another text from Donatello, this time it was slightly more encouraging.

**"That's telling him girl" **

Sagan wasn't about to be upstaged by the coy concerns of this bespectacled female, and pushed on with his pitch

"Testing it out on a human was never my first choice" he said.

This alarmed everyone in the room

"But you just said the purpose was to check out the aspect thingies of the human thingy" Irma replied

"You're awfully limited in vocabulary for a gifted scientist Ms. 'Tello" Sagan observed, "And if your ears were open, you'd know I never said the human condition, I said 'ours'".

"Isn't that the same thing?" Irma asked

"I mean it in a universal way. Even a _multiversal_ way. It is quite a stubborn, selfish notion that these aspects are exclusive to our race or any of the others species bound to this planet. There are not just whole worlds out there that have proven this otherwise, but other dimensions as well. I look not just to the stars, but the forces that rest side by side with our regular conception of reality. Thus the Psycho-Splinter will pull such life from the multi-dimensional fabric of the universe and process what it captures, and when it has done splintering such life, we will truly discover which side to creation's soul is key to unlocking every one of its many layers"

"So this device of yours is some kind of...gateway to another reality?" Irma realized, "I don't need a text from my boyfriend to know that's a place nobody on Earth should be near. You're a few feathered friends short of a full birdcage mister"

"This rather chatty woman is correct Kim" voiced a fellow scientist in the crowd, "We have experienced far too many active threats from other dimensions, I was hoping for a regular down-to-earth demonstration, but it is plain to see that you are content only with the outlandish thought process associated with the insane, I shall have no part of this"

"I concur" added another scientist, soon joined in protest by another, and another.

Soon, the whole ensemble were storming out of the lab, despite Cross's best attempts to pacify them.

"There has to be some sort of bug going around that turns every brainiac in this part of town loco" Irma said to herself as she followed them out.

She took one last glance at Sagan, who remained quite distant in expression, and sensed something about him, something she would share with Donatello over that toasted pizza she had promised him.

And with that, she left the room, leaving Sagan and Cross alone.

"Well that didn't go very well did it?" said Cross, "Still, you should have expected such a reaction, in many ways I'm glad it's come to this, you ruined my day, it's divine karma that you ruin your own" he finished.

But Sagan was not about to stop there, he resumed work on the control console, punched in a final sequence, put on a pair of safety goggles, and watched the Psycho-Splinter come to life before him.

"What are you doing man? You have no audience to entertain" Cross said.

"Always create for your own amusement" Sagan replied, "Always play in the sandbox"

"Out of curiosity...you DID test this earlier right?" Cross asked.

Sagan looked at him with a glazed, insincere expression, and blew his bubblegum.

As the Psycho-Splinter's energy levels built up, he activated his MP3 player, choosing to drown out his fellow scientist's complaints with a good steady beat, in this case _"Let it Rock" _by Kevin Rudolph.

And he waited.


	5. Chapter 5

**CHAPTER FIVE**

As the solar winds of Dimension 47 began to pick up, the alien explorer Dzerna analyzed the situation laid out before her.

If all went according to plan, the sacred treasure of the alien Implazoola race would be within her grasp.

Nestled on an asteroid surrounded by force field generators and guarded by a frightening cross between a shark and a rhinoceros standing upright and brandishing a harpoon gun.

Whoever took the treasure back from this creature would be rewarded with a significantly greater amount of wealth.

The Implazoolas were kindly and quite cute, but they had strange beliefs, t thinking that their ancient treasures were some sign of great fortune and their current form of currency was quite disposable compared to it.

Still, treasure for more treasure. A novel concept all the same.

And a daunting task.

Fortunately, she had a partner.

And he was doing his best to be fashionably late.

_"Come on, I'll be spotted any second"_ Dzerna thought to herself as she slowly floated through the asteroid field, temporarily camouflaged between two orbiting rocks that were slowly parting like the sea, revealing her location.

As Dzerna expected the worst, a series of explosions rocked the asteroid occupied by the shark-rhino hybrid. One by one, the generators were taken out by a hideous, winged creature wearing blue jeans, a jumper that only a mother could knit, and a cute little bow tie. Laser gun in hand, it set about taking out the generators, darting about left and right, avoiding the creature guarding the treasure.

This provided Dzerna with the opportunity she had previously believed was rapidly dwindling, and she floated over to the asteroid and snuck up behind the creature, pulling out a pair of special energy shackles attached to her side pocket.

The fly zipped across the asteroid, continuing to confuse and anger the treasure's guardian, it eventually took to circling around the creature's head, dizzying it slightly. With her target disoriented, Dzerna slapped the shackles around the legs of the guard.

Dazed, confused, and now unable to walk, the guard resigned himself to his fate and fell backwards, crashing to the ground in a heap.

"Fancy flying there Baxter" Dzerna said as the fly touched down

"The treasure is secure, now give me what you promised" yelled an impatient Baxter Stockman, "Gimme, Gimme, Gimme"

Dzerna let out a sigh and tossed Baxter three small sugar cubes. Baxter caught them and downed them all in one gulp.

"You're such a child" she observed

She bent down to inspect the fallen guard, and found a device on his belt buckle glowing red, a small screen on the buckle showed one still dot, and, to the left of the screen, several other dots heading towards it.

"He was waiting for someone to pick him and the treasure up, we've got to get everything teleported to my ship pronto" Dzerna said, and walked over to Baxter, carrying the harpoon gun, "Cover my back with this" she said

"I'd rather you watch your own back" Baxter said, "You never know when someone will stab you in it"

Baxter suddenly swiped the gun from Dzerna's hands and slapped a pair of shackles on her wrists.

"What is this? We had a deal" an outraged Dzerna exclaimed.

"Deals? I've made deals all my life and it has always ended in betrayal, it is the only language I understand anymore, and my only means of survival"

He pushed Dzerna over, causing her to fall backwards onto the guard. Baxter flew over the treasure, adjusting his weapon, he took careful aim at the heap in front of him and pulled the trigger. Before Dzerna's eyes, the treasure vanished

"I have transported the treasure to your ship, which I will commandeering" Baxter said, "I will leave you to those advancing on our location, I'm sure they will find a captive and helpless female a true sign of heavenly fortune to come"

As Baxter turned to leave, he found himself distracted by a shimmer of light. Before long, a large blue crack split across the sky, the area was soon alight with bright electrical sparks

"Fascinating, it's as if something is tearing away the skin of this very dimension" Baxter said, and flew upwards towards the crack to investigate.

"There appears to be something on the other side" Baxter said as he looked into the crack, noticing a large room with two people observing the events as they unfolded, one seemed angry and concerned, shouting and pointing his finger at the huge energy spike. The other wasn't bothered at all, preferring to bob his head up and down.

"They look like...humans" Baxter said, "Could it be? Could this dimensional tear lead the way back to Earth?"

"Hey, aren't you forgetting about your big haul?" Dzerna said as she tried to get up

"Have your treasure, nothing enriches me more than the notion of revenge on those who first changed me into this freakish form" Baxter replied, and flew towards the shimmering light, leaving Dzerna seemingly helpless as several black, sleek vessels began to hover over her.

"He'd better run, I may have just developed a preference for fly ointment" Dzerna said.


	6. Chapter 6

**CHAPTER SIX**

As the Channel Six news van drove up to the A.P.E facility, April spotted several scientists coming out of the building.

She got out and headed over to the Turtle Van, where Raphael was tapping his fingers on the wheel anxiously, waiting for Donatello and Irma to come out and hoping they'd come out in one piece, having been unnerved by Donatello's raised concerns in the essay he left behind in the van.

"Hi Raphael, care to explain what's drawing everyone outside instead of indoors, you know, where my story is meant to be?" she asked

"Beats me, but from what I overheard when some passed the van, it seems the demo is off. Maybe they found out whatever game they were playing was dodgy and loaded with giant enemy crabs" Raphael replied.

Donatello and Irma soon joined the crowd pouring from the building, April approached them

"Please tell me the day in hasn't turned to a day out?" April pleaded, "Though you types could do with getting more time in the fresh air"

"Nothing is happening I'm afraid" Donatello replied, "Thanks to Irma's less than keen mind, everyone became very like-minded." he added, slinging his arm around her right shoulder and holding her close to him.

"Anytime Puppy Dog" Irma replied, kissing him on the cheek.

"So much for my day at the science fair ground" April lamented.

"Oh don't worry about it April, the day isn't over yet, you're bound to cover more interesting things" Donatello replied

"Besides, that Sagan fellow wasn't much of a keen cookie, he wanted to bring in all kind of weirdoes from places that only b-movies should dare to tread"

"So, now that Mr. Shattered dimensions has experienced a shattered convention, who's up for taking a bite out of this regular old dimension's doughnut range over at the bakery downtown?" Raphael asked

April laughed, "Ok, I can't say no to that, especially since Mike will need all the dozens he can dine on after training, lead the way Raph"

Before long, all three had bundled into the Turtle van, which sped downtown

**-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-**

Back inside the facility however, things were going at a crisp pace for Kim Sagan, as Professor Cross begged him to cease with the experiment.

When it became clear Sagan was not about to have his day tainted by concerns and common sense, Cross threatened to call security.

This seemed to phase Sagan, who took to grabbing Cross by the coat and dragging him to the storage unit that contained the M.I.M.I.C.

Opening the unit, Sagan gave Cross a cheeky grin and promptly threw him inside and locked it shut. Almost comically, Cross continued to raise complaints even from inside the unit. Sagan resumed his work.

As the portal shimmered and shone, Sagan noticed something coming towards him, a creature with wings making erratic buzzing noises. Sagan smiled as it pushed through the dimensional tear and made its way into the regular world.

_"How fitting",_ thought Sagan, _"That it resembles a fly"_

The instant it came through, he flicked a switch, and sprung his proverbial flypaper on the unsuspecting creature.

In an instant, the Psycho-Splinter shot a bolt through the fly's head. It screamed in agony as the electrical current danced around its body and wrapped him in a cocoon of electricity. The fly temporarily vanished from view as its form, coated in energy, was slowly dissected and split apart before Sagan's eyes.

One shape became two, and two became three.

Suddenly, the energy levels dropped, and the machine began to break down. Due to how much power was being generated, all the lights in the building flickered on and off before ultimately succumbing to a massive power outage.

As the Psycho-Splinter shut down, Sagan was quick to light a candle.

Staring back at him through the dark appeared to be more than a million tiny eyes. As the forms stepped into the flicker of light generated by the candle, they stood revealed as three separate creatures of varying height and gender.

One appeared to be an older, muscular male, one was a lean and tall female who was quite firm in regards to frontal assets, and another, much smaller insect looked like the average build of a seven year old male child.

Three abominable and freakish forces of nature, produced by the cruel hand of a man's twisted science.

Sagan was overjoyed.

"Not human...absolutely not human. Goody for you" he yelled in delight, "Oh you don't know how content this makes me, it's a rare occurrence in my day to day routine, bless you, bless you to the max"

"What has happened?" said the male fly, "I demand answers, or I won't be the only thing breaking over this"

"You went through my psycho-splinter, it segmented your being into three different aspects, granting each a fresh body...your bull-headed testosterone-based side, your feminine side, and your inner child"

"Well this is an embarrassment, why did you have to swoop into that energy field blind the way you did? Thanks to you, I've got twice the burden to feed with you and junior here" the female fly snapped, reprimanding the male.

"Might I ask , just so I can keep track of all of you, what was the name of your complete self?" Sagan asked

"My name? I-I can't remember my name.." the male replied, struggling with the answer

He turned to his highly energized female self.

"You must have it" he said

"Why do you think I care for who you are?" the female replied.

"Because you're part of me" the male stated.

"Oh, so just because I'm related, that means you think I'm your property does it?" the female replied, and turned her head away from him.

"I'm hungry sir, do you have any sugar?" said the baby fly, tugging at Sagan's leg

"When it comes to treats, I'm ever so sweet" Sagan replied, patting the youngling on the head.

"We need to focus here, and stop quarrelling, we're all a part of one another and we must be one again" the male replied, grabbing Sagan by the coat, "You will piece us back together or I will reduce you to pieces"

"All in good time" Sagan assured him, "Besides, if you were to lay a hand on me, I couldn't supply you with the means to return to normal"

"You never think that far ahead, best leave the negotiations to me" the female said to her more aggressive counterpart.

She walked over to Sagan and took out a padded pen and notebook from her pocket, "Somehow I think, from what little memory I have, that I've been around people long enough to know how minds like yours work in these matters, list your demands and we'll supply you with whatever you need, and we will attain it for you in return for our rejoining"

"No need to put yourself at risk Madame" Sagan replied, "I require only your presence before a grand audience. An audience of fools and frauds. People who aspire to master creation but turn in terror when one dares to change the nature and climate of very creation. They must be fought, and they must be taught, and you're just the right kind of lesson for them to learn"

"You propose...that we attack these people?" The female asked

"We get to smash something?" the male added.

"Will we have a party then?" the child said, also joining in

"Just make yourselves homely at my estate, and wait for everyone to assemble, then we shall strike" Sagan explained.

"Do you have any idea of how you're going to assemble such a gathering?" asked the female

"Honey, you should see me in a crowd" Sagan replied, spitting out his bubblegum and offering it to the little one.


	7. Chapter 7

**CHAPTER SEVEN**

**ONE WEEK LATER**

"Heads up girlfriend" Michelangelo said as he threw the beach ball clear across the lair to April, she caught it with both hands, threw it high through the air, formed a single rock-hard fist of flesh with both hands, and pounded the ball, sending it back Michelangelo's way.

Detecting the ball was veering slightly to the right of him, Michelangelo leapt sideways trying to catch it with a similar formation of hands, only to mistime the jump and ended up missing the ball completely, much to April's amusement.

"I can always trust you to get the ball rolling dear" April said.

"Did anyone ever tell you you're a literal babe magnet?" Michelangelo said, getting up and brushing himself down, "'Cause you're a babe and you...tend to do a lot of attracting?"

"Don't you dare" April said, trying to put some distance between herself and Michelangelo, who was heading towards her, but before she could run, Michelangelo caught up to her and collided with her, sending them both to the floor.

"How many times am I gonna fall for you?" Michelangelo said, kissing her on the cheek.

April stroked his face lovingly. "Now where would we be without my magnetic personality?" she said.

Before long, the two were exchanging warm and passionate kisses, swiftly interrupted too soon by the returning Raphael, who had a few newspapers in hand.

"Now this is the sort of affair that is best served between the dirt sheets" Raphael remarked, dropping one of the papers on Michelangelo's heads.

Elsewhere, the beach ball rolled along the lair into the kitchen and settled at the feet of Donatello, who was seated at the table working on a device while Irma was preparing him toast.

"Do they have to play Summer sports indoors with the kind of weather we have outside?" Donatello asked Irma.

"Hey, it's that or another 'round of iron man meditation" Irma replied, "When April agreed to train with you guys, she didn't really think she'd have the time to literally stop and think about it"

"Yeah, well, that's _us_ all over Irma. We think slow so we can act fast later. I know April's all about covering the instant action in her day job, but at least this practise allows her to see the method behind a lot of our madness. Besides, it will definitely come in handy when her news assignments become dangerous."

"You're so logical, I'm surprised she never thought of settling for you" Irma said, "Not that I'm complaining"

"Oh please, April and I have virtually nothing in common...she's street-smart and I'm WAY smart" Donatello remarked.

"Ah, but that's where you're off slightly sweetheart. You both possess the biggest career-minded egos I've ever come across" Irma replied.

"Are you trying to get on my bad side today?" Donatello asked, "Is this about what I made you go through at the A.P.E demo last week?"

"Oh I'm way over that" Irma said, "Besides, Professor Sagan is eager to make up for it. He's invited me to his mansion tomorrow, along with the rest of the committee that was there"

"Really? And I thought he wasn't very social" Donatello responded, "He'd have little reason to be after the way you humiliated him"

"Seems that Sagan fella really is going above and beyond the call of decency to get a party going" Raphael said, handing Donatello a newspaper. "Turn to page seven" he said

As April and Michelangelo rushed into the kitchen to pick up the beach-ball, they overheard Donatello read out the headline.

**"**_**Why **__**No**__** Serious Sagan: Mad-cap scientist bares his soul and promises free A.P.E demo at massive fun-raising party:**_ _Yesterday, renowned scientist Professor Kim Sagan, wearing only a placard, boxer shorts, and banana shoes, stunned citizens in Times Square with a bold and boisterous invite to a public __pyjama_ party at his private estate where the finest scientific minds of the A.P.E institute will unveil the secret of mass inter-reality transit...using only spoons. Sagan says the time has come to let down the hair of the stuffy up-and-up scientific elite and shatter conventions as well as dimensions"

The room fell deathly quiet for a few seconds, before commotion was triggered by Raphael's infectious laughter, which caused everyone else besides Donatello to join in.

"Spoons?" Raphael said, " It's a step above making mountains out of mashed potatoes, but even _that _feat is manageable by the average, if less than sane, Joe. Pyjama parties? Playing with spoons? Is this science, or is this a breakfast bar?"

Donatello didn't see the funny side of the matter.

"This is really serious...the local scientific community takes a lot of pride in their secrecy" he said

"You're not suggesting this spoon thing is on the level are you?" Michelangelo asked

"No, no it's boulder-dash, and would go against their reservations against dimensional travel, but a member of the scientific community making a spectacle of himself and putting them in the limelight could well be Sagan's revenge for being mocked last week...and the presence of the public means A.P.E and others associated with it will now have no choice but to attend the party and probably even unveil a project they've been developing in secret just to save face when everyone realizes the spoon thing isn't going to happen"

"So Sagan gets what he wants, the community forced to reveal something early that will be completely underwhelming in contrast to what the public expect, making it an embarrassing ordeal for them one way or another. That's dang clever of him" April said , "And it also sounds like the kind of meaty scandal a roving reporter like me could cover, I'll talk to Burne and see if he can arrange something

Leonardo walked in with Master Splinter, who had been spending most of the day as he had the week before, locked in a deep collected series of meditations, pondering a problem.

"Good to see you up and about sensei" Donatello said.

"My weariness of late has been related to a sense of impending danger that has, as of the last week, intensified, one might even say it has been tripled" Splinter said, "I feel now is the time for you to investigate it"

"Any clues on where to begin master?" Leonardo asked

Splinter nodded, "I sense it has much to do with numbers...a gathering of people, carefully manipulated and herded into the eye of an almighty storm"

"Does it mean we get to crash at that party? Far out" Michelangelo replied.

"Party?" Splinter asked. Donatello handed over the newspaper.

Upon reading it, Splinter realized how sharp his instincts and suspicions were.

"It appears the conditions are ideal for your intervention my students" Splinter said, "You must all go, but be active, alert, and do not indulge your sense of play for any reason. That which creates madness has great method to it"

"If it's meant to be a zany kind of outing, what can we possibly wear?" Leonardo said.

Irma's eyes lit up.

"Don't you worry your pretty little shells, I've got just the thing" she said.


	8. Chapter 8

**CHAPTER EIGHT**

Hours passed, and as the public flocked to Kim Sagan's mansion, attired in their nightly dressings, the eccentric scientist, dressed in a cosy mix of star-studded pyjama tops and loose baggy trousers, fixed up his bow tie while the female portion of the freakish trinity he had become an ally to lavished him with praise.

"You look gorgeous" the female fly complimented

"I did notice" Sagan replied.

"Hey, male counterpart seething with jealousy over here" the muscular fly remarked as he played around with a couple of weights

"We're not even married" the female responded

"Then explain the kid" the male responded.

As fate would have it, the infant fly soon flew into the room, clutching a teddy bear.

"Mommy, do I have to stay up late?" the kid complained.

"And I thought brats your age considered staying up a rare privilege" the female replied.

"It's just...there's nothing on television, except boring infomercials" the child moaned, "I need to play, are any other kids coming?"

"No" Sagan answered. The child took this as a sign to throw a tantrum.

"I don't want to live like this. I feel, I know, I should be all grown-up about this, so make me a grown-up again, bring us all back together" it complained, rolling on the floor and indulging in quite the paddy.

"The psycho-splinter is primed and ready for use" Sagan assured him, "When we're done scaring the people spitless, you will be reunified"

"You're most kind " the female replied, "You remind me of a friend I had...I can't remember much of him, do you any of two remember our friend?"

"Hard to tell I'm afraid dear" the male answered, "But I seem to recall he was a whiz with computers...or..._was_ he a computer?"

**-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-**

As the Channel Six news van headed up to the front gate of Sagan's mansion, the Turtles sat huddled in the back, despairing at their 'evening wear' carefully selected by Irma, the result of many a slumber party she had with the female friends gained from her yoga class sessions. A nightshirt and green boxers for Leonardo, nightgown and fuzzy slippers for Donatello, a loose night dress and night cap for Michelangelo, and even a top with a teddy bear sewn onto the right sleeve for Raphael.

Donatello stared at the tiny little micro-dots in his hand and looked over to Irma, who was, besides April, the only one in formal wear, looking dead pleased with her selection of outfits for the green machine.

"A science slumber party? Where'd he get this idea from? Some off the wall Disney movie?" Raphael remarked.

"How come the girls don't get to dress up?" Michelangelo said

"Part of Sagan's game" Irma explained, "The invite requested I dress sharply"

"It's probably to make every science whiz there look 'square' in the eyes of the public, to make it look like we're incapable of letting our hair down and having fun" Donatello explained.

"And what's your excuse?" Raphael asked April at the drivers seat.

"The perks of being the press, is that we always have to look professional, if not a little sane in presenting this experience to the dignified outside world" April explained.

"Dude, can we exchange evening wear? I feel a draft in this" Michelangelo asked, commenting on his dress.

"You just want this bear to sleep with tonight don't you?" Raphael replied, "Forget it"

Everyone laughed at this, even Donatello, but as he looked at the micro-dots, he found himself drifting again, his thoughts elsewhere

"What are those Donny?" Irma asked, pointing to the dots.

"Oh, they were for tonight, they're psychic patches, they enable a person to patch in to the neural network of a vast collective of people and give you a glimpse of their knowledge and feelings"

"Isn't that a breach of privacy?" Irma inquired.

Donatello nodded, "I don't know what I was thinking bringing them along, I just thought you needed some kind of advantage if you were approached again and asked your opinion on a scientific breakthrough or had to explain a complex idea to the people. I'm just trying to make you look good"

"You do a fine job of that by supporting me in places like this anyway" Irma replied, and kissed Donatello on the cheek. "It's the simple things in life that make everything matter...you're a prize catch and I want everyone in there knowing that"

"I think we need a better mask if we're gonna make this catch look convincing" Raphael remarked, pointing to the Turtle's regular and traditionally unremarkable means of facial camouflage.

"People in there look way uglier then them" Irma replied, "You got nothing to worry about"

The van pulled up to the gate, April showed the guards her press pass and she was soon allowed to move in.

Upon parking the van, the Turtles put on their masks and everyone disembarked, heading to the front door, where a stiff looking butler was accepting invites. April showed her pass again and was allowed to enter, Irma was up next with her and Donatello, she showed her invite. The butler let the two in.

As the other Turtles moved in, the Butler stopped them

"And just where are your invites good sirs?" the butler said

"Oh no, we don't have any" Leonardo replied

"Then how come Donatello got in?" Raphael asked

The Butler provided them with the answer by showing them that the invite allowed for _one_ extra guest to attend, not a whole group.

"Great, we're stuck out here looking like we're camping out waiting for a mall to open" Raphael said, and looked at the teddy bear stuck to his sleeve gawking at him

"At least I've got _this_ shoulder to cry on" he remarked.


	9. Chapter 9

**CHAPTER NINE**

"Wow, it's certainly lively" said April as she took in the atmosphere of the party, seeing teeming masses of people dressed in their cosy bed wear, drinking from bowls of punch and helping themselves to servings of lightly toasted sandwiches. There was not yet any exquisite and succulently rich food to be had at this party, for reasons known only to the host.

"I'll mingle a little, don't worry though, I did a lot of book worming, so I should know something of what the eggheads are saying" Irma said, kissing Donatello on the cheek, "Love you"

"Good luck dear" Donatello said.

As soon as Irma turned her back and disappeared into the crowd, he began to do a little scouting of his own.

Waltzing around, he glimpsed a rather plump looking well-dressed man trying to woo a few of the guests, who were quick to dismiss him with a prime slap to the face. As he rubbed his aching features, the man noticed that Donatello was glancing over at him.

"Can you believe the nerve of that girl?" he said

"I believe it, I just wonder if I can withstand it" Donatello replied. The man laughed.

"Women. Ha. They're always trying to tell what lies within our heads and carefully creep into them, they should focus on everything outside of it, it's way more appealing" the man replied. Donatello could barely hide his dismay at the man's delusional view of himself, and felt worse for the male gender in general being as ill represented at this event.

Donatello walked over to the punch bowl and took to pouring himself a glass. Someone brushed past him, helping himself to the sandwich snacks.

"Calm crowd" he remarked. Donatello nodded, then took a second glance. His jaw dropped.

It was Kim Sagan. The host.

"It's funny how these people react isn't it?" he said.

"What do you mean?" Donatello said

"Between you and me, this really isn't why I bother experimenting on the regular members of Joe Public, they swallow the mildest form of chaos so easily but have almost no patience or enjoyment for the more drastic kind. They'll settle for events like this so long as it excites their primitive, childish impulses, they all share the need to rebel, they're all united in the cause of standing outside the pack...yet by standing for that cause, they tend not to stand out and follow a different kind of convention"

"Then why stage this event at all?" Donatello asked, "And just why are you telling me all this? I'm a _guest_, I should feel insulted by what you just said"

"If you feel something, you're more than welcome to try and change it. To challenge it. I've told fifteen people the exact same thing, from members of Joe Public to the eggheads walking on eggshells, you know what I get every time? A giggle, a threat, a walk-out...but that's all they ever do. They don't throw a punch, they don't raise their hand and strike me down, they have all the verbal ire, but not the skill to imprint their fire on to my skin and scold me...sc old me so very, very badly. That's their mistake, that's their bed, time to tuck them in and read them their story"

"You sound very drunk" Donatello said.

"I spiked the punch, that's no surprise" Sagan said, "Tell me something new, observe me in a different way"

"Ok, you're..like a child" Donatello remarked, "With quite a lot of growing up to do"

"No rush" Sagan said, and winked at him.

As he turned to take another dozen sandwiches, Donatello felt the ire Sagan had described build up. Deciding to answer the challenge, he took a slow breath, put on the fakest smile he could muster, and patted him gently on the back of the neck.

"Quite a kidder" Donatello said. Sagan turned and looked at him, his face sagged.

"I'm quite low, but never to the levels you people sink to" Sagan criticized, and headed to the staircase, still munching down on his plate full of bread and bacon.

Donatello's face steeled itself, and he calmly pressed one of the psychic patches in his hand and fastened it to his neck, and prepared to patch into the neural framework that would be channelled through to him by the patch he had just fastened to Sagan's body.

Despite his earlier misgivings, Donatello knew this was a mind that was calling out for proper psychological evaluation. He decided, against every bit of morality in his make-up, that he would answer that call by making the kind of connection Sagan would not personally allow.

It took only a few seconds to learn all he needed to know, and what he now knew chilled him to his core.

There were so many things to do, so many alarms to raise, but one name came to his thoughts immediately, and he sought that name out as quickly as he could.

_"Irma"_ he thought, time and again

He found her engaging in conversation with the guests, specialising on a particular interest filled with many complex phrases and expressions as she could possibly come up with by ploughing through the verbal index she had set up in her mind, all trying to convey the same message

The science, and consistent benefits, of ice cream.

"Irma, you've got to get out of here" Donatello replied.

"Come on Don, don't cramp my very 'in' style here, I spent hours prepping for this type of lingo limbo" she said, clearly in love with the sound of her own voice and the mesmerising effect it was having on some of the scientists.

"Look, this is important, we're all in great danger, Sagan's nuttier than nutella spread and fruitier than the Fruitella candy, I've got to move you off the chess board before his pawns move forward"

"Pawns?" Irma asked, "If this is Chess, does that make me a Queen and you a rook? Because you're totally my castle"

The two were interrupted, along with the entire frenetically charged gathering, by the sound of a ringing bell from high atop the balcony. Sagan was holding court

"Friends, before my esteemed colleagues provided you with explanations and demonstrations, it is time to dine. Let us serve you well, and for my peers, let you be served...right"

With a click of his fingers, two trapeze artists attached to two separate swings on the left and right of the mansion's grand hall began to glide and somersault through the air, each passing the other and exchanging swings.

Down below, the doors to the kitchen opened and a luxurious banquet was wheeled out on a massive trolley, with three plates labelled , 'starter', 'beef, and 'sweet'

"Oh, can we play 'mass exodus' after dinner Don? All that talk of ice cream has got me souring for some sweets" Irma begged. Donatello tried pushing her away, but she skirted past him and dashed over to the table.

Donatello , realizing Irma wouldn't budge, chose to prioritise and think of the bigger picture beyond the captivating taste buds of his girlfriend, and contacted the other Turtles via Turtle-Com

"Guys, this is Donatello, we've got big problems in here, find a way in as quickly as you can" he instructed.

Letting her excitement get the better of her, Irma pushed her way to the front of the dinner table and enthusiastically lifted up the lid of the 'starter' , only to reel back in shock.

"I started...so I might as well finish" the female fly said, taking a laser gun out of her purse

Another member of the public lifted the 'beef' lid, only to be confronted by the male fly

"Where's the beef If you don't mind me asking?" Irma remarked

"Will a beefcake suffice?" the hulking, muscular insect replied, taking the plate he was under and breaking it over his head.

"And the sugar..." said a scientist, lifting up the final lid, to find a whole mountain of the substance piled on top of the ravenous insect child

"...Full of that and spice, time to feast on everything nice" he replied

As all three flies swarmed over the hall, wreaking pure havoc and sending the crowd into a frenzy, Sagan took to watching his trapeze artists, in reality, two androids, indulge in their act, unoccupied by the chaos down below.

"Try not to send anyone through any windows, I insist this not be the most expensive of parties" Sagan advised to the flies.

However, a fatefully brief glance at the crowd saw him take a gander at the panicked Irma as she headed for the door. Sagan gently pressed a button on his cuff-links, which triggered a locking system on the entrance to the mansion, sending it into lockdown.

No one was to have too merciful a night.

Especially her.


	10. Chapter 10

**CHAPTER TEN**

Outside, the remaining Turtles were trying to get inside, and were arguing intensely with the butler at the front of the door.

"Don't you hear the commotion going on in there? There's people that want out and you're barricading them. They're asking you 'Jeeves', to open the door, if you don't , well, that brings a whole new meaning to the phrase 'the butler did it'" complained Raphael.

"This is not your concern. The present trouble will not take long to dissipate. Remain calm and wait for your friends to emerge" The Butler advised.

"Emerge in what? Body bags?" Raphael continued, and jabbed his finger in the Butler's chest, "You seem to be hard of hearing, so I'll point it out to you...someone in there means business and we're more than capable of taking trans-_action_. Let us in, or you're going to be ringing out for his master's voice courtesy of the biggest wet wily this finger of mine can take"

The Butler brushed Raphael's finger aside and began to suddenly grow in size, his clothes ripped apart, his face melted away, revealing a blank robotic feature with an infra-red scanner beaming it's light onto the startled Turtle's face.

"Now look what you've made me do" he said, "I must now you insist you leave the premises...in pieces or under your own power is entirely up to you"

"We're not afraid of you" Leonardo said in defiance.

The robotic butler's infra-red scanner glowed brighter and brighter, the Turtles feeling the heat, it became painfully obvious the sight served as some kind of energy weapon. It fired several warning shots, scorching the ground beneath the Turtles' feet and causing them to hotfoot slightly over the lawn.

"It would be wise to depart now" the robot cautioned, still maintaining his upper class accent despite his remarkable appearance.

"Alright Turtles, time to ditch the formalities" Leonardo instructed, and removed his late evening wear

"Aw, just when I was getting all toasty in these" Michelangelo remarked, before obeying Leonardo's command.

As the two Turtles unveiled their weapons and tried to score some direct hits on their colossal adversary, Raphael looked around, putting his mind to work.

"Raphael, where are you? You're needed" Leonardo said as he dodged another blast, trying to cut the robot's arm off with a well aimed stab of his katana blade, the robot swatted him aside and aimed its deadly laser vision at him, Michelangelo approached him, forming a shield of sorts and held his nun-chucks high to try and deflect the blasts. The laser fire cut through the chain linking the two sticks together, separating them

"Hey, that's my favourite pair, always joined at the hip" Michelangelo protested. The Butler fired another shot, Michelangelo somersaulted to avoid it and landed next to Leonardo, the two made a run for it as the blasts continued to rain down on them, each shot just a few inches behind them.

Watching this all unfold was Raphael, who looked at every corner of his surroundings.

_"Ok, a big elite mansion, a good and tidy garden...what do you commonly find around here to keep this patch of land in tip-top shape?"_ he thought to himself. Suddenly, he spotted something useful

Leonardo and Michelangelo ran up to the windows of the mansion. Both were cornered as the butler's deadly targeting device closed in on them.

"What are you thinking?" Leonardo asked Michelangelo

"I could do with a hug right about now" Michelangelo replied

"Oh no, you're not reminding me of that little group huddle during our skirmish on Turtle Prime" Leonardo replied, "You want a close call like that, ask your girlfriend"

As both Turtles wondered what was taking Raphael so long, the robot prepared to close in.

Suddenly, it stopped, not knowing what kind of move to make. The Turtles were confused.

"I must not damage the windows. The master is not insured" it said, and backed away.

As it turned around, it was sprayed with a large quantity of H20 coming from a combination of a sprinkler and a water hose used by Raphael. Short-circuiting, it exploded in a shower of sparks, sending many of its components in all direction.

"They never do waterproof these things" Raphael remarked.

Realizing quickly where their priorities lay, the Turtles all dashed back to the front door and tried opening it to no avail. Leonardo examined a small keypad attached to the door.

"It requires some kind of access code to enter" Leonardo said.

"So how are going to get in?" Raphael asked

Michelangelo, having a hunch, walked back over to where the robotic butler had met its fate, and scooped its dismembered head up in his arms

"He said his master wasn't insured for these windows...well I think from all that commotion I can hear, he's trying to _ensure_ destruction of some kind, so let's shatter that nasty notion" he said, and with one well-aimed throw, threw the robot's head into the stainless glass window, shattering it and providing the Turtles with an opening.

"Just mind yourself going in, I don't want to have a real cut above the rest" Michelangelo said, pointing to his body. The Turtles laughed and carefully clambered through the window into the packed and panicked mansion.

No sooner than they got in, they found themselves under attack from the female fly, who opened fire on them with her gun. She hovered over them, taunting the trio with a maniacal laugh

"You weirdoes aren't stealing our thunder, we crashed this party first" she yelled.

"Good grief, is that..." Leonardo began as he took note of the fly's appearance, looking at her tattered looking dress.

"...Baxter?" Raphael concluded for him.

"Woah dude...I don't know when you decided you liked a bit of skirt, but if it helps, I respect your lifestyle choices" Michelangelo commented.

"What did you call me?" the female fly said, having stumbled on a clue to her identity that was lost to her memory.

"Don't you recognize us?" Leonardo said, "We're the Turtles"

"Yeah, we're like, your mortal enemies" Michelangelo added

Raphael dismayed at that answer.

"Oh yeah, perfect strategy Mike, gal doesn't have a clue who we are and you give her all the reason in the world to indulge in her current confusion" he said.

The fly touched down and advanced towards them, shaking her head as erratic visuals of previous conflicts came to her, visions of a life she served unified as one whole being

"You're making me remember things...nothing but pain, humiliation, things that I thought were only ever possible with marriage...I must rid myself of these thoughts, and I'll start by ridding myself of you" she hissed.

"Hey, back off of them sister" came a voice from behind her. The fly turned around, the Turtles looked on with ecstatic looks. It was April.

"Get back behind your little camera and relay a pretty picture in the midst of all this grizzly scenery you little bimbo" the fly taunted.

"Did you hear the latest? The coverage these days really strikes a chord with the viewer" April said, and with a fierce roundhouse kick, knocked the gun out of the female fly's hand and brought her knee crashing up into her chin

"Alright babe, you really absorbed those lessons" Michelangelo commented

"Not as thoroughly as that she-fly absorbed my reflexes" April said

"Now all we need do is find Donatello in this crowd" Leonardo said, realizing it would be harder than it seemed with parts of the crowd scattering in several directions, and some getting so worked up they were running around in circles.

Raphael looked upwards, and quickly pointed something out, the remaining Turtles rose their heads, and saw Donatello, his human guise now off, holding on to Irma's legs as she was hoisted up in the air by the muscular male fly, heading towards the balcony where Professor Sagan was awaiting her.

" "I think Donny's got a hold of the situation" Raphael observed.


	11. Chapter 11

**CHAPTER ELEVEN**

Sagan was in a prickly mood. His windows were shattered, his party guests now had a way out, and he had intruders. To make matters worse, the simple task of retrieving the woman who had humiliated him a few days earlier was being met with great difficultly, as the pea-brained masculine fly tried to shake Donatello off by smashing him into the walls, leaving slight dents in them. The defiant Turtle seemed unshakable.

Meanwhile, the child Fly had taken to the kitchen, and came back out armed with several custard pies, some of which he was scoffing down on. In a wild fit, he threw the pies at the remaining intruders. Leonardo and Raphael ducked, but Michelangelo stood his ground, letting the pies cover him from head to toe, enabling him to lick the creamy contents off of himself in an equally quick amount of time, such was his ravenous appetite.

When the child ran out of pies to throw, Raphael darted across the tables and brought the fly to the ground with a charging rugby tackle.

Sagan was dismayed. A waste of good decorating and food...was this really what he envisioned when he sought to scare and shock the guests he was all too willing to victimise?

The female fly flew up to him, having been humbled by April, her ego was bruised, her psyche was all a jumble, and her priorities were clear.

"Sagan, this isn't working out" she said, "I just got an inkling of who I am and it's more indecipherable than the average ink blot. I need to be one with my other selves again, and now"

Sagan took a piece of bubble gum and gave it to her, "Helps lessen your stress levels" he said. The female took the gum and chewed down.

Sagan walked over to a door leading to a large spiral staircase, "I suppose you've earned your unification, come with me, I made arrangements for the Psycho-Splinter to be moved to my study"

"What about the party crashers?" the female asked. Sagan looked down at the ongoing skirmish, and then glanced over to his trapeze artists.

"Everything that crashes, tends to burn" he said.

He took a small pendant out of the right side of his pyjama pocket and pressed down on it. The trapeze artists dropped from their perches and glided towards the Turtles, shooting laser fire from their eyes.

"Junior, cease your playtime, this family's about to get a whole lot closer" the female instructed to the child, who was busy wrestling Raphael on the floor.

As the Trapeze artists, in reality dangerous robots, fired upon them, the child broke free of Raphael's grip and flew up to his female counterpart, they, Sagan, and the male, still with Irma and Donatello clinging on to him, all headed for the spiral staircase, Sagan made sure to lock the door behind him.

"We've got to keep those things clear of the crowd" Leonardo instructed as the Turtles did battle with the trapeze terrors.

"Yeah, we don't need to take any swings from _this_ double act" Raphael remarked, and leapt into the air as they flew down, he jumped on their backs and made a grab for the chandelier high above. Hanging from it, he carefully timed a drop down, taking his sais out in mid freefall and bringing them down on the heads of the two robots just as they were closing in on Leonardo and Michelangelo. With the terrors incapacitated, Leonardo took a swing of his blade and cut their heads clean off.

"Nice bit of static artistry there Raphael, almost effortless" Leonardo complimented.

"Now all we have to do is deal with a multi-troop" Michelangelo said. The Turtles agreed and ran up the stairs leading to the balcony, but found that the door had been sealed shut.

On the other end, Sagan, the flies, and their passengers made their way to Sagan's private laboratory high up in the loft compartment of the mansion complex. Sagan burst through the doors and switched the lights on, basking the active Psycho-Splinter in a beaming glow.

As the masculine fly dropped Irma and Donatello, Sagan quickly grabbed her and took out his patented boxing glove gun from a nearby desk. He made his intentions clear to Donatello

"This weapon can diminish a person's neural patterns to that of a pillowcase with one solid knock to the temple"

"Great news to me, I've been having a lot of trouble sleeping" Irma replied, Sagan held her tightly.

"Let her go Sagan, it won't take long for the police to arrive, and my fellow Turtles will find their way up here eventually, there is no real outcome that works in your favour" Donatello warned. Sagan wasn't listening.

"You humiliated me at the demonstration of my great experiment, you said the funny farm could ill afford me" he rasped to the frightened Irma, "Well, take a look at the results, see what happens when you turn the keys ever so slightly the wrong way, it has opened up a door to vindication for me"

"Oh yeah, you sure showed me...sending house flies out to attack a sheepish crowd and a lot of eggheads, running away from your problems like a chicken, this is the funny farm personified alright" Irma replied.

Sagan instructed the female fly to operate the control console, telling her how to bring the device to life and which adjustments needed to be made to it, and to set it to the inter-dimensional source code where the creatures had originated from as one being, although he did not tell them the final key command, he wanted to have the pleasure of punching in the sequence himself.

The fly took the commands relatively well, surprising even herself with how fluent she was at understanding the specifics of the device.

"It's almost like second nature to me" she said, "Whoever the three of us were must have been a dab hand at these kinds of marvels" she said

The device began to ignite with energy as the source dimension flared into view. The three flies flew towards it.

"A superior creature can only emerge from you three delightful things" Sagan boasted, "You are a step above conventional, erratic and clichéd human misery"

"I don't know what to have to tell you this Sagan, but those flies? They seem to represent a real character called Baxter Stockman, a scientist who originally hailed from_ Earth. _He was human Sagan, before he was sent to another dimension and transformed into the horror you've unleashed by the power of three tonight"

Sagan's jaw dropped. He looked at the flies with an incensed expression. "You...were human?" he asks

"News to us" said the child.

"No, no he's right, somehow...in the scrambled jigsaw puzzle that's my...that's OUR...brain, this is quite clear to me" the male fly replied.

"Then good luck with the rest of your day" Sagan said, and, letting Irma go, he stuck the boxing gun just beneath his chin

Irma and Donatello pleaded for him to stop, but it was too late, he pulled the trigger, and the boxing glove went off and smashed into his face, knocking him senseless.

"Look what you've done!" cried the male, "Now we'll never be reunified, something from my past tells me you've always been a thorn in our side, well it's time to let you know how much of a prick WE can be"

He flew into a rage, smashing up bookcases and turning over desks and pounding the windows before lunging towards Donatello, who scrambled to the console, trying to work out a means of finishing the process and salvage something from the situation. The male towered over him, and brought a fist down on the console.

This seemed to set the psycho-splinter off, and the energy ribbons began to spiral out of control, wrapping themselves around the three and pulling them into the centre of the dimensional vortex that had opened up

"That did the trick it seemed" Irma said.

"Talk about punching in the final instruction" Donatello remarked.

As the three flies were merged into one, Donatello looked at what remained of the console, desperately looking for a way to switch it off

The three flies soon vanished from view, and in their place was a reunified and energized Baxter. He looked all around him, taking in a few stretches, as if he just emerged from a days long coma with no sense of self. Now he was alive again, and he was very aware

"I remember everything...I am me, I am free, I am Stockman, Baxter Stockman, Licensed mad scientist, and I'm back to create a bit of a buzz" he exclaimed

"I don't think so Baxter, with my fullest regards, it's time you were returned to sender" Donatello said, and flipped a couple of switches labelled **'REVERSE'**

"No, not the reversal of the neutron flow again...it's so...so British" Baxter yelled, and, feeling the tug of the vortex, was scooped up and thrown back towards the dimensional source, and out of Irma and Donatello's sight.

Irma went over to the plug and pulled it out. With nothing powering it, the psycho-splinter went dead

A small grappling hook suddenly latched onto the shattered glass and Michelangelo's head soon emerged as he climbed up it, he and the remaining Turtles soon clambered in, ready for action.

"Alright, we're on the pulse, now let's close this flea market" Raphael said, only to realize they were too late.

There was just Donatello and Irma, huddled together, looking despondently at the limp body of Sagan.

Leonardo looked out the window, picking up sirens.

"The heat is here, we better cool down elsewhere" he said, referring to arrival of police cars.

"What about Irma?" Donatello asked, "She needs someone to verify what happened here"

"Don't worry about me honey, who _ever _makes a song and dance about this these days anyway?" Irma said confidently.

Two months was all it took for the dance to get very dirty.


	12. Chapter 12

**CHAPTER TWELVE**

**PRESENT DAY**

Donatello blamed himself for what was going on now as Irma did her best to explain that evening's events to the tribunal. No matter how many times his fellow Turtles had assured him that Sagan was to blame, he couldn't help but feel the hidden hand that had pulled Irma's strings.

Maybe he should never have achieved that degree, maybe the world wasn't ready for 'Donna 'Tello', maybe Irma wouldn't have been in the position she was in to chip away at Sagan during his demonstration, to humiliate him to such an extent he would try to take out, or more accurately, indulge in, his frustrations, or maybe the whole thing would have happened anyway with another scientist having a big enough mouth to say the little things that set off a ticking time bomb.

All he knew was it shouldn't have been Irma. She deserved to enjoy her life, not have to make excuses for it.

Irma finished bringing everyone up to speed. The Tribunal conversed with each other briefly, and then spoke to her again.

"And that's all you can offer us Ms. Langenstien?" said the lead speaker,

"Definitely" Irma said.

"Nothing about how a woman of a painfully obvious average intelligence was allowed to converse with scientists of a higher calibre intellect in the first place?" he asked

"Hey, I'm pretty streetwise, like all those doctors in rap" Irma replied.

Everyone in the room groaned.

The speaker's temper grew, and he conveyed his frustrations to her as calmly as he reasonably could to maintain professional courtesy.

"Ms. Langenstien, if you were one of the average 'streetwise' people invited to this party, you would be easily dismissed along with every other person assembled there, but you were the last person to see Sagan when he was in perfect health, the last person to see what happened to those inhuman creatures, you were privileged enough, by fate or more likely damn rotten luck, to experience things that could give us a glimpse into the revolving door mind of the man Kim Sagan, no one can be as flippant and as casual about it as you have proven to be...that makes me think one other possibility, that you are putting on an act"

"And what basis do you have for assuming that?" a rather peeved Irma asked

"Bring it in" the speaker commanded, beckoning over to a security guard, who handed him a small, familiar looking micro dot

"This was found on Sagan when he was being transported to the hospital" the speaker said. Irma looked at Donatello, who buried his head in his hands as she realized he had went back on his word to use the psychic patches

"Researchers at A.P.E had it analyzed and found it to be some sort of neural patch. It actually contains most of Sagan's mindset on it" the speaker continued, "We haven't quite worked out how to access those brainwave patterns yet, but when we do, we'll probably have the answers that will likely verify everything you've said today"

"But why do you think I'm some sort of great pretender?" Irma asked

"Ms. Langenstien, a device of this calibre isn't something one just picks up at the dollar store. We are of two opinions of you, one half says you're a regular, harmless ditz, but the scientists we talked to who were at the party say you were a collected and articulate individual with a great depth of knowledge...granted it seemed to be all about ice cream, but that's beside the point" the speaker explained, "One way or the other, you come out looking like a liar, what we'd like to know is, who is the real Donna 'Tello? Why did you make up that alias? IS it your alias, or is 'Irma Langenstien' the lie?"

Donatello analyzed how desperate the situation seemed, he knew there might be at least one way out of this. He reached up to his mask, and contemplated taking it off, to reveal to the world that he was a Turtle and to explain he had developed the patches, that 'Donna 'Tello' was him, he was the truth and the lie.

Just before he could unveil himself however, Irma took to the microphone again

"I suppose it's really simple really" she said, twitching her fingers, "I've never been good at pinning down a lot of things, guys, jobs, career opportunities, I've either always stayed behind the desk or helped out in a news van, I was never the glamorous reporter, or the hot-headed editor, I was never someone...and one day, because of someone making a glaring error, the most wonderful person in the world told me I could be this incredibly gifted, highly intelligent person, that person wanted me to be an extension of genius. I let myself be myself that day, and you know what I did? I helped that person save the world, you know what with? A regular hairpin. A hairpin. The world didn't end because the regular girl with the average I.Q and the worst possible dress sense gave the person with all the gifts something to pin down a doomsday device with. I never felt so special, so we kept it up over the years, I would be the extension of that genius, and in being that, I got to share my own unique mindset with people too busy or too lofty in stature to contemplate that level of thinking"

"But who IS the real 'Donna Tello' Ms. Langenstien?" the speak continued

"Does it matter? The genius got the dirt on Sagan and warned me, I was saved, and no matter what difficult choices were made to raise the alarm, when those bells went off, the green machine roared into life, and those flies got zapped with the most electrifying repellent I've ever witnessed. Thanks to all of that we have one less ecstatic eccentric running around in his boxers telling everyone there's a party with a hefty price tag" Irma concluded.

Donatello smiled as he realized Irma had forgiven him, a small tear rolled down his cheek.

The tribunal gathered again and talked amongst themselves, they turned back around

"Ms. Langenstien...are you still in touch with this person?" the speaker asked

"Always" Irma said

"Tell that person they have our gratitude, and if 'Donna' wishes to stick to the shadows in future, we would like you to represent the light" he added, "A.P.E could do with some of 'Tello's input"

Irma gave him a salute, "You'll be hearing from us" she said

"Very well, this hearing is dismissed" the speaker said.

Irma and Donatello walked out hand in hand from the building. The reporters, having all watched the inquiry on the live stream, were full of query, none more apparent than Vernon.

"How did you do it?" Vernon asked, "You're one step away from total humiliation, how'd you bounce back?"

Irma gave him a wicked grin, "Track down Donna and get connected" she said.

Donatello and Irma jumped back into their car, the reporters still swarming over it taking snapshots and yelling questions through the car's open windows which Donatello soon sealed shut as the vehicle drove off.

The day's events had ended just the way they had began, with Donatello and Irma the centre of attention, the talk of the town, only this time, the mood had changed.

"Feeling better?" Irma asked

"Relieved" Donatello said, "I thought our goose was cooked when the patches were brought up, I even thought..."

Irma took her glasses off and stared at Donatello with loving eyes, "I thought you didn't need a patch to tell what I'm thinking Donny, we need to work on your trust issues a bit more, especially now that we're going to be more of a team than ever"

"Maybe we should wait until tomorrow...it is after all, another day" Donatello said

"Fat chance mister, we're talking this over a nice cold ice cream" Irma replied and exchanged a series of warm kisses with her boyfriend as the car sped down the New York city streets.

**THE END**


End file.
